James May aka: Captain Slow

James May is the slowest of all TopGear hosts. He hates to drive cars fast and usually buys the stupidest cars in the world. he is the only host who understand how 'torque' works, has invented a pie, and has kept the tweed industry alive for 2 decades. he has a mullet, loves coloured jumpers and does not trust the French. he loves either massive luxury cars or tiny, cheap, rundown minis. his favourite line is "oh cock"!!!!

Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson is one of the 3 hosts of Topgear. He has a vicious hate of cyclists and fears motorbikes. A good example of this is the episode when they have to ride a motorbike across Vietnam in 8 days. Clarkson cant even ride a motorbike and stacks more then once. He is tall and close to 50 years of age. Clarkson also interviews all the stars that go around the test track in a resonably priced car.

Interesting facts about the Stig

this is the Stig. He is TopGear's official car tester and drives all the new cars around the test track for the fastest times. Some say that every week he sheds his entire skin, like a snake and that for some reason he's allergic of the Dutch. Some also say that he drinks by sucking the moisture out of ducks, and that his crash helmet is designed to look like Britney Spears' head. All we know is that hes called the Stig.